It can often be said that spouses feel like they are between two cats determined to fight when they show up at their family's home with their spouse. Their parents might make sure to mention how much better their other children are doing being married, and they make it a point to look at their own child in a manner that implies they are disappointed. The spouse naturally takes offense at their attitude, and might even have a snappy putdown ready for the occasion. It can be difficult to deal with both parties, so finding ways to force them into finally getting along is a good solution.
Death and disaster often bring people with great differences together, but that could be a bit extreme. Pushing back at family and spouse is a better alternative, and it might have the same effect. Sitting all parties down at a neutral location could be a good idea, and getting support from siblings of both families might help.
An intervention might also seem a bit extreme, but it could be the only way to make all parties see how much damage they are doing. While the goal of the parents might be to break up the relationship, they are also ruining holidays and other celebrations for the entire family. A spouse can be accused of ruining everybody's good times too, and they also need to be held accountable for their actions and reactions to the situation.
Failure to find a workable solution can affect the marriage in many ways, and grandchildren have often missed out on knowing their grandparents in this type of situation. Before it comes to that, families should find a way to work out their differences. Offering even a small window of opportunity to get along could make everyone happier, and it could result in a better marriage for the couple.